Creating a life you love

How do we go about creating a life we love?

Living your best life - a life worth living - may not come naturally.

Many of us want a life filled with purpose, joy, and fulfilment, but somehow, we find ourselves feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or simply, lost. Creating a life we love involves intentional steps and a commitment to our well-being.

Here are some essential strategies to help you embark on this journey:

Eight steps to creating a life you love.

1. Self-Reflection:

   • Begin with introspection. One of my very favourite sayings is Carl Jung's: “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” To know where we need to go, we first need to understand where we are. Think, journal and reflect on the following:

   • What is making you feel stuck? Is it work? Home Life? Relationships? Poor physical health? Lack of energy? Lack of passion? Lack of direction? Feeling lost? Spend some time digging into what your ‘stuck point’ might be.

   • What are your values, passions, and strengths? What makes you feel alive? What activities or experiences bring you joy? What do you struggle with? What would you like to improve?

   • Journaling, meditation, and talking to a trusted friend or coach can help uncover these insights.

     2. Set Clear Outcomes:

   • Where would you like to be in the future? Who would you like to be in the future? A great exercise to help you with this is the ‘Best Possible Self Exercise’. Think about your best possible future self - what is he/she like? What do you want your life to look and feel like? What needs to happen for you to rate your life as great? This may be very simple, such as ‘have a better relationship with my co-workers’ or ‘have my own successful business’.

Journaling can be a helpful tool in creating a life you love.

• Once you have a clear understanding of what is important and who you want to be, think about some small, specific, achievable steps that are necessary to get to where you want to go. These can be as simple as: ‘make sure I am getting enough sleep to have better energy during the day.’ Or, ‘make an appointment to speak to my manager about some of the issues I am having at work’.

• Write these goals down with some achievable time frames. Hang this on your wall or fridge where you will see it regularly. Share it with a friend, partner, trusted colleague or counsellor/coach so they can help you keep on tract and help work through any obstacles you might encounter.

• Review this regularly! We need to review our path regularly. Once every one or two months review what you’ve achieved and whether you are still on track.

3. Mindful Living:

• Embrace mindfulness. Mindfulness is about staying in the present. Although you are making plans for the future - it’s important not to believe you will only be happy ‘when’. Ie “I’ll be happy when I have a new job/car/house/partner etc” Your happiness can only be found in the here and now. Try to stay present and appreciate the journey.

• Mindfulness practices, such as meditation or simply being aware of your surroundings in the present moment, can reduce stress and increase your overall sense of well-being. Mindful living is also about noticing what you appreciate and what brings you joy. Cherishing these moments helps you notice when life is nurturing your soul. You can find out more about mindfulness here and meditation here. You can even practice a brief meditation with me here.

4. Seek Inspiration:

• Read books, watch documentaries, or listen to podcasts on topics that intrigue you. Visit museums and art galleries. Consider art classes or pottery classes. Seek new opportunities to experience new things. Find out what is around in your local neighbourhood. Exposure to new ideas can spark new passions.

• You can also get inspired by breaking up your usual routine - wake up earlier than usual and watch the sunrise. Take a different route to work or take public transport instead of driving. These things can break you out of your everyday automatic patterns and thinking.

Spending time in introspection can help you create a life you love.

5. Healthy Lifestyle:

• Prioritize physical & mental health through balanced nutrition (read about how food impacts mood here), regular exercise, and adequate sleep. Your physical well-being profoundly impacts your mental and emotional health as well as your resilience when things get a little tough. Read more about building resilience here.

6. Continuous Learning:

• Lifelong learning keeps the mind engaged and opens up new possibilities. Whether through formal education, hobbies, or travel, continuously seek growth. Taking a night class or enlisting in an online course can also be inspiring and give you a sense of achievement.

• Studying something just for fun can also open new opportunities in areas you didn’t previously consider.

7. Resilience Building:

• Life is full of challenges. Developing resilience helps you recover from setbacks, and you may be able to view them as opportunities for growth. When a challenge arises - sit with the challenge for a while and ask yourself - ‘What can this teach me?’ ‘What can I learn from this situation?’ Difficult times, although feel awful, can be a huge space for learning.

• Practice self-compassion and self-kindness. When we practice self-compassion, we are much more likely to be willing to try again after a failure. Treat yourself as someone you love. We can’t beat ourselves into a better version of ourselves!

• Another resilience-building tool is to imagine if the challenge you are facing is a game. How would you approach it? What or who would be your allies? (These can be friends, families or even pets!). What or who would you call on to help you get through? Are there tools, ‘weapons’ and resources you can call on? How many other ways can you approach this problem?

8. Purpose and Contribution:

• Find ways to contribute to something larger than yourself. Whether through volunteer work, community involvement, or your professional life, contributing to the well-being of others adds meaning to your own life. This can be something small - picking up litter, for example, or helping out at your local animal shelter.

Embracing a life you love

Some extra hints to creating a life you love:

1. Start Small:

   • If you struggle to get started - begin with low-pressure activities that you used to enjoy. It could be reading, walking, or listening to music. These small steps can reignite a spark of interest and joy.

2. Reflect on Your Childhood loves:

   • Think about what activities you loved as a child. These early interests can often provide clues about your innate passions.

3. Journaling:

   • Write about your feelings, thoughts, and daily experiences. This practice can help you identify patterns and uncover hidden interests and values.

4. Create a Vision Board:

   • Visualize your goals and interests by creating a board with images and words that resonate with you.

5. Professional Guidance:

   • Working with a mental health professional or life coach can provide personalized support and strategies for discovering your passions and values.

Helen - Online Life Coach and Registered Nurse, New Zealand

Helen is a registered nurse and life coach, specialising in mental health from a holistic perspective. She is passionate about supporting people to have optimal mental health and well-being.

Based in New Zealand, Helen is available for talks, education sessions and online assessments.

• Get in touch with Helen here

• Purchase the Mini Guide to Mental Well-being here

• Do her online course in Changing Lives here

If you would like some help recovering from a difficult time in your life - please get in contact with me!