What’s the point of talking?

I can’t tell you how many times I have heard this:

“What’s the point? It’s just talking. How will that help?”

Have you ever thought this about talk therapy? Or know someone who does?

I’m not sure if this should come as a surprise - but I’ve mostly heard this from men of a certain age.

Consider this:

Have you ever experienced someone saying something very unkind to you?

• How did that make you feel?

Have you ever had someone say something very kind to you?

• How did that make you feel?

Have you ever read or heard something that just clicked in your mind and changed the way you thought, believed or even acted?

This is the power of ‘talking’.

Of course, talk therapy isn’t all about words.

It’s about finding reason. It’s about lightbulb moments. It’s about inner learning. It’s about gaining insight.

It’s also about support, having someone to help you sort out the chaos in your mind and sometimes it’s simply about learning.

So if you know someone who gives you the answer “how will it help - it’s just talking” (or maybe you think this yourself) - remind them of the power of words.

Maybe you’ve benefited from talk therapy/counselling or coaching and are happy to share your experience. Let me know!

How do I know what’s right for me?

It can be very confusing to know ‘who’ to go and see for support. The types of help out there are very varied - but - this is very important - research suggests what is most important when it comes to therapy (or counselling (or coaching) is the rapport you have with the professional providing the therapy. This suggests that it doesn't matter too much what model they use, what matters is that you feel heard, the therapy or counselling or coaching is helpful and you feel completely comfortable in their presence.

To find out more about ‘who’ to see and the differences between a psychologist, psychiatrist, counsellor, therapist and coach see my blog here: The Ultimate Guide to Finding a Counsellor.

What is therapy, counselling or coaching like?

If you are wondering why someone might want to get counselling or therapy and how it might help - below are two examples from clients on their experience of why they sought therapy and what their experience was like.

One of my clients has said this about his experience of seeing me:

I was left single, remained in a house that was draining me emotionally, financially etc, stuck in a job that was very taxing on my physical state and I was, for most part all on my own. Helen really was a big help through this period and I’m not sure how I would have ended up if she hadn’t been there to give me guidance. Even now I have a lot happen that I know would have broke me down before. As a man, I know it isn’t easy to reach out but I would implore anyone to give this a try.

And another:

I was experiencing a great deal of change in my life and was living in a place of grief and trauma, experiencing anxiety and often finding myself ruminating. I was struggling to find direction, it was effecting my health and wellbeing. I noticed that I had just stopped taking care of myself and giving myself any love or respect. After my first session with Helen I was able to connect with my inner being again and managed to start giving myself time. Helen talked with me about some realistic goals that I could work on. Taking a holistic approach, looking at the whole person, taking into account all aspects of my life, and giving me practical support and advice.

It might even be about a career change:

I was seeking someone to talk to about a need for a possible career change, and the steps to take to do so. Helen made me feel at ease quickly, and her wonderful holistic approach enabled me to see other parts of the puzzle. The resources she provided were helpful and I wouldn’t hesitate to speak with her again in the future or recommend her services to others.

How can it help you?

The simple act of talking with a trained professional can help you by:

• Allowing you a safe place to vent

• Allowing you time and holding space for you to process difficult emotions

• Supporting you in your journey to recovery step-by-step

• Help you make better decisions to reach a positive outcome

• Offer you an objective viewpoint to a situation and help to explore possible solutions

• Provide guidance by encouraging introspection and reflection

Coaching or Therapy for free?

Remember - most large organisations and many insurance companies will fund you to receive a minimum of three sessions with a counsellor, life coach, health coach or therapist. It’s an amazing opportunity to talk about goals, work through issues whether work-related or not. And it’s FREE!!  (And completely confidential). Ask your HR person or manager about this service.

In New Zealand, we also have ACC that can provide talk therapies for various conditions as a result of an incident or accident.

Many GPs also have connections to therapy providers offering you three free sessions

Start Your Journey to Well-being Today

Whether you're seeking therapy, counselling, or life coaching, remember that help is available, and you don't have to navigate life's challenges alone. Take the first step towards a happier, healthier life by reaching out, whether it’s to me here at One Life or someone else that you trust for personalised support and guidance.

It can be the best thing you do today - and for the rest of your life!

Helen is a registered nurse and life coach, specialising in mental health from a holistic perspective. She is passionate about supporting people to have optimal mental health and well-being.

Based in New Zealand, Helen is available for speaking, education sessions and one-on-one appointments.

• Get in touch with Helen here

• Purchase the Mini Book - a mini guide to well-being here

• Do her online Changing Lives course here and get your four-week online guide with Helen.